A Letter To My Younger Self About Body Positivity

I received a free copy of The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.

You know, this book began to heal apart of myself that I thought I had healed. That part of yourself that you โ€œfindโ€ in college. The part that you tell to stay quiet as your new โ€œselfโ€ begins to emerge. That part that you know is easily triggered. 

Guys, the details of the story-telling, the journaling notes at each passing chapter, it forced me to take a hard look at how I view myself in todayโ€™s society. The Self-Love Revolution by Virgie Tovar forced my younger self to heal.

Journaling prompt after each chapter. This is prompt 4.

I grew up in a community where lighter skin complexion, and being โ€œthickโ€ was better, or were one of two things someone aspired to be. I didnโ€™t realize that this was the basis of why I was bullied and taunted by family members and peers alike.

For years I did not realize that because I was a light-skinned black girl that I was somehow โ€œbetterโ€ than others. Friends and family made me feel like an outcast. I didnโ€™t have many friends and essentially I was a loner. I had a select few of people who really knew me beneath the surface. Somehow, with me being private about my life that further fueled the โ€œshe think sheโ€™s better than usโ€ narrative. 

I was also this skinny little thing, and most women in my family had curves! I mean beautiful curves that hit in all the right spots. Yโ€™all know what I meanโ€ฆ I was constantly ridiculed about how skinny I was. Always being told that I wouldnโ€™t get hips during puberty, which, of course, I didnโ€™t. There were never ending comments about how I would never find a man that only wanted bones. I mean there wasnโ€™t a family gathering that I wasnโ€™t talked about.

As I got older I realized that those people were only projecting their own insecurities about themselves onto me. Someone who was soft spoken and did not want any conflict. I was an easy target. 

Also, during high school I saw first hand how being a light-skinned black girl gave me privilege. I saw guys choose me over my darker-skinned friend. Or the teacher assuming my classmates were always the problem, but not me.

I wish I could tell my teenage self that none of the trauma I experienced was my fault. 

NONE. 

NADA. 

ItWasNotYourFault! 

I wish I could tell her that confidence is a must.

I wish I told her that she was beautiful more often.

I wish she knew that she would be confident enough to start her own business by age 25.

I wish she knew she would be breaking stereotypes within her family.

I wish she knew that I loved her.

What I am most excited about is sharing this book with my younger cousin, more like sister. She was the first baby and kid that I really enjoyed babysitting. She was the  cutest thing, and all I wanted to do was protect her, well, I still doโ€ฆbut of course sheโ€™s grown up in American culture. Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, commercials, ads, and lets not forget her high school peers have influenced her view of what beauty is. Her and I have the most intimate conversations about the real world, and just how huge it is. This book will give her the view that beauty is a construct, and that what she sees as beautiful is just that, beautiful, and the rest of the world can kick rocks.

This book, The Self-Love Revolution: Radical Body Positivity for Girls of Color, was so powerful because it will begin a revolution. I wish I had a book that was as detailed and real as this one when I was a pre-teen/teenager. My 12-13 year old self would have viewed the world in a different way.

Until next time family. 

Peace.

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